Sooo ok I have been pretty down lately... seems when something is going right in my life, I turn around and something else is going wrong!

Seriously, it like happens within 24 hours of my happiness!

I'm super extra happy, then poof next thing I know everything is a mess... nothing is going right, and I can hardly breath from all the stress it brings

But, like everyone has heard, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...

and... you have no idea how much I depend on that saying

I've been through my own little personal hell and back, many many times.... and I'm sure I'll be going back there many times before I die...

I just keep hoping that what does not kill me actually does make me stronger! Sometimes its hard to keep hoping though!

However.... I have learned to Never Ever Never, let go of the hope completely! Its the only thing that will get you through the rough times...

Ha easier said than done!

With every door closed, a window is open... So hold onto that... and never let it go! :D

~*~Lena~*~

So I found this site www.maniatv.com <----Check it out!!!!

Its an internet music channel that describes itself as the MTV of the future! And I must say it does have potential!

Sooo anyway, can't say I had a long day because in all actuality... I slept most of it away..

Not sure what posessed me to sleep almost all day but ehh it happened, and there is nothing I can do about it now!

Well I must say at least I was up in time to watch the announcement of the new Pope! can we say woohoo? Yeah you're right we better not!

Isn't it funny his last name is Ratzinger and he kinda looks like a rat! No disrespect mind you, just an observation.

See growing up I always had this thing, I would think of animals that people look like... Just my way of indentifying people...

EXAMPLE: Sarah Jessica Parker = A Horse, Ashlee Simpson = A Skunk, Paris Hilton = Possum... ok so I think you get the picture!

I assure you I do not say people look like these animals to build my self confidence up... that is far from the mark! I do it because I just see it... weird I know but have done it all my life... My fiance looks like a Lion, my mother looks like a gazelle, and some say I look like the cheshire cat! I however do not agree, but ya know... its ok!

Well I beees tired gotta get some sleep and rest my arm... :D ta ta!

~*~Lena~*~

Ok I'm minding my own business **on friday** just typing my blog and POW! <-- you know like in those cheesy old comics!

My arm starts hurting like crazy! I have shooting pains running up and down my arm from my elbow to my wrist and back again.

Its totally crazy I've had to have one of those ace bandages wrapped around my arm all weekend! It was no fun at all...

Laid off my computer usage for a bit... figured ya know typing couldn't help it... ehh whatever

Seriously though it came like out of nowhere! just.... "PoW" hrrrmmmmm not prisoner of war... but ya you catch my drift....

Sooo the fiance is taking a state civil servent test, so he may be considered for IT positions in the State... Hrrmmm who knows how long that will be, but I'm optimistic! I swear!

Kinda getting excited... him getting a job means we get to move out...

I'll finally get to move out of my mother's place...

Don't get me wrong I love my mom, I'll mis her tons, but I'm 21 I need to be out on my own... living my life....

I guess we all go through it!

Anywhooo... OMG LET ME TELL YOU! Longest fricken weekend ever... no computer   (couldn't type), no driving (anyway I turned my arm it shot even sharper pains through my arm), just laying around watching TV with my mom and fiance.

Which is strange in and of itself... because, one.. I never watch tv... two.. hardly ever a moment when I just spend time with both my mother and fiance... and three.. well I forgot what three was.. but one and two are enough don't you think? mmhmmm

Gosh Darnit! <--trying to be good, don't want to swear if kiddies are going to be reading this!

sooo my arm is starting to hurt again, I'll type some more later...

Huggers

~*~Lena~*~

Sooo ya it has been a while since my last blog... Had a wacky few days... ahhh nothing too bad...

Haven't really been online more than to write my blog, and haven't signed onto yahoo (smittenkitten0313).... didn't want to be bothered while I wrote my blog...

So as soon as I signed on 5 im's pop up.. it was crazy! I felt so loved! HEHE

I played Second Life for a bit last night, didn't do much just shopped for close for my "character" and got bombarded with im's in there as well...

Well made me feel good that I was missed.. at least I know now that my virtual presence doesn't go unnoticed..... I'm paranoid like that!!

But ya sooooooo.....

Life is crazy... When one area of your life couldn't be going better.... another area just totally craps on you!

My work is wonderful, my social life is looking up, my fiance and I seem to be happy, I'm not arguing with my mom all the time..... I would say things are great right now....

Then I turn around and my car starts crapping on me! I'm like

"WTF mates!"~quote from an online cartoon http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/world.htm" title="http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/world.htm" target="_blank"http://www.funnyjunk.com/page... (CHECK IT OUUUUT!)

So anyway, back to my car! The dents you all know about... and I have already said that on friday I had a flat tire...

Wellll now... when I go over bumps my headlights flicker sometimes but not a lot... and my breaks are screeching... but I just got my brakes fixed a few months ago!! CRAZY >.<

I wish I could just snap my fingers and get a new car! That would be wonderful... I have a 96 geo metro *what a piece of craaap*

I WANT A NEW CAR MAN!!!!!!!! hopefully a new jetta! that would be nice... Oh ya or a kick ass audi... one can dream!

Soooo onto another subject! I'm getting depressed!

Ahhh... Ok so over the weekend I read the book called   & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;    "Witness" by Amber Frey

Was a pretty good book... One comment I would seriously like to make... That girl needs to either close her legs or consider birth control... seems like she gets preggo when a man looks at her in a lustful way! LOL

I in no way mean any disrespect to her or her family... was just pointing out an observation! But seriously now... I think what she did was very brave and it is somehow comforting to know that there are people like Amber Frey in this world... people who aren't affraid to stand up for something they believe in, or something that moves them deeply.

Had she not been there throughout the investigation, Laci Peterson's family would be at a loss. I seriously couldn't imagine being in their position!

It must be excruciating!

Ok wtf mates! I was trying to steer away from the depressing blog... but here I am again... depressing myself...

Maybe its just one of those days! Who knows...

Maybe I should just quit while I'm ahead!

I'll prolly write latahhh though :D

~*~Lena~*~

This is one of my stickers I have on the window of my car!!! Gotta Loooove da monkayyyy!

LOOONG day... so I'm driving the pip home from dance last night... we get out of the car and hear this hissing sound...

I try to see what it is, and it gets louder as I get closer to the front left tire of my car... and yep wouldn't ya know it! My tire was going flat!

There was a hole in the side of the tire about the size of a screw! So am at my employers house with a flat tire, and no way home.

Employer shows up and says just take the Lexus! Sooooo, I mean how am I going to refuse riding in a Lexus!

Sooo I'm on my way home and I realize, oh shiznit I have the Lexus... the thug wannabees will have a field day with this car... sooooo I park a couple blocks away in a better part of the neighborhood... Walk to my building with a death grip on my pepper spray!

So then this morning I recruited my fiance to come up to my employers house and take my tire off for me... he does, we take it to the shop to either get it patched or buy a new one... $58 later I have a new tire and am on my way back to the house....

The fiance puts the new tire on my car and we were off.... spent some time with my oh so cute niece Zoe....

What a sweetheart! So anyway took her to eat and then took her to get a chapter book! only 7 and super smart!

Got a call from my cousins girlfriend to come over for a cookout... Went had some drinks talked had fun...

As "M" and I were leaving I started feeling really weird... major headache, was hard to breath and my heart hurt.... it felt very tight... felt a little better after a while but never felt like that before... kinda freaked me out...

I mean it wasn't from the alcohol.. only had 2 drinks and they were blended drinks and didn't have much alcohol anyway... thought maybe the food didn't settle right with me... who knows...

So ya that was my day! rather boring I know... but never the less my day :D

I can't keep my eyes open sooo I'm out like a light!!! Nightersss!

~*~Lena~*~

Sooo ya das me!!! But don't be fooled by my sweet and innocent exterior! I'm part demon I should have you know!!!

Nahhh!!! I guess I really am a sweetie!!! (cough cough!)

Soooooooo yet another fine April day... Warm, sunny, and all the thugs are out on the corner! Ya its gonna be a looooong summer!

No new dents in my car as of yet, but there are plenty more hours in the day... I'm not holding my breath!

Cleaned my room a bit... still looks a mess but... its an improvement!

So, I was scouring the web for any hilarity I could find.... And I came across some stupid quotes..

Ahhh yes.. those are the best!

I must say Dan Quayle's stupid quotes were rather entertaining...

For example:

Wow Dan... thats Deep! lol

Sooo ya! Its funny how you can get caught up in the stupidity of the web... I've been writing this blog for the past 3 hours!!!! Craziness! (I get sidetracked very easily)

Well thats all for now.... I'll write more laytaaaah!

~*~Lena~*~

Soooo... since this is my first blog, I guess I should start with an introduction....

Let yall into the little world I like to call home!

Ok so I'm 21 from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.... easily one of the most boring places in the world. Before I turned 21 I figured it was just boring because I couldn't go out to the clubs and bars... but now I have come to realize, it is just as boring as before, only I am legally allowed to do things I have been doing already....

I'm a big city girl trapped in a small town! I gotta get outta this town before I lose my mind...

Believe me I'm working on it! <---(wait... losing my mind? or getting outta town?... its a toss up!)

I have always had big dreams of moving to the big apple! Making it big and the rest would be history..... I never realized that I would be 21, not following my dreams and still living at home with my mother...

Sounds pathetic I know...

I have a boat load of talent (singing and acting) that is being wasted rubbing peoples tired muscles, and transporting a pip from school to dance class, from dance class to home... where I spend an unknown amount of hours waiting for her parents to arrive. (FYI: I'm a massage therapist... and a Nanny!)

"Pip" aka "H" is 12, in 6th grade and hanging on by her teeth! Just switched schools in January... Her last school taught her nothing... her new school now teaches her EVERYTHING and she is having some dificulty hanging in there... But she is a fighter, I'm sure she will make it!

I live with my mother in a small apt. in a less than perfect neighborhood... Most mornings I'll walk to my car and find yet another mysterious dent in my car made by some teen thug wannabe trying to impress his fellow thug wannabe friends! WTF!!!! Mass sterilization I say!!!! Um... I think I'm kidding... LOL!

I also live with my fiance aka "M"... I'm sure he is loving living with his future MIL... but you know what I say to that? GET A JOB!<---that was said in the most loving way possible! I assure you!

Job=money, money=ability to pay rent!

And who said I couldn't put two and two together!?! (2 and 2 is 3 right?..... I'm just kidding...everyone knows its 6...lmao)

Just pullin ya chain! Did it feel good? :P

Anyway.. moving on...

I come from a broken home, and have a 28 year old brother who is stuck in his teenage years.... sleeping all day and doing nothing a "gown up" should be doing.. such as work, or anything that remotely sounds like work!

um that isn't even close to everything... but... I'm sure I'll end up explaining everything in upcoming blogs.... whatever they may be about...

~*~Lena~*~